Everything we say and do affects our children. According to psychologists, our words and actions affect our children’s adulthood. But do you know why? Children are like sponges; they receive everything.
Their brains are still developing, and they have redundant synapses, with about 15,000 synapses from more than twice as many neurons as the adult brain.
The things in our environment that we come in contact with often become hardwired into the brain through many neural connections with those things. As our parents, we are often exposed to them growing up, and the way they speak and interact with us has a huge impact on us.
In other words, how our parents treat us is how we treat ourselves. If our parents had given us encouragement and courage, we would have done the same for ourselves. If they criticized us and got angry, we would be very hard on ourselves. Why is this important?
The way we talk to ourselves affects our confidence and how we deal with mistakes and mistakes in life. That is why every parent should be patient with their children.
The most important thing is to show love to your children. After all, they’re just kids, and they’re going to make mistakes. Therefore, it is important that your children feel loved and supported even when they fail. Many parents make the mistake of thinking that their children know they are loved.
However, you need to remember that they are only children and do not have the same awareness as adults. Children do not always notice that their parents show love to each other. That is why the expression of love must be clear.
The best gift you can give your children is to talk to them and do it with lots of love. This way they will learn how to love themselves.
Things not to say to your child
- “Stop crying now!”
Children have the same right to feel what they feel as you do. Instead of yelling at them, hug them and ask them why they are sad.
- “Why is it so hard to do _?”
By doing so, you make your children feel unworthy and useless, as if they are incapable of doing anything. So try to show them how to do something right. Convince them that they will do better next time.
- “Big boys/girls are never afraid!”
This sentence is not true and you know it. Even adults get scared sometimes. Use this sentence to show your children that you are not allowed to feel the way they feel. You should ask your children why they are afraid and show them that you are always there to support them no matter what.
Your children need to know that they are safe and secure.
- “I can’t believe you did that!”
It is very selfish of you to blame your child for disappointing you. However, in most cases, adults doubt themselves. You need to teach your child what he did wrong and why.
- “You’re not as pretty/good/smart as you should be!”
By doing this, you are teaching your children that they are not what you want them to be, and they are not good enough. And this is very wrong. You are making your children feel insecure and uncomfortable. Instead, you need to teach them to accept and love themselves as they are.
Being a parent is not easy. In fact, it may be the most difficult task. You are the one responsible for raising someone who may one day make a big impact on the world. So be careful and try to be a better parent than you are.