This week, a man explores his deepest desires on his own as he navigates Grindr and convinces his wife to try something new: 45, married, Texas.
FIRST DAY
7 am This week will be busy. I work in the healthcare industry and the job is tough. At least I start the day knowing there’s something hot in the mail – something headed my way for me and my wife. I’m not a toy collector, but I understand and love that warm feeling of anticipation.
14:00 Kill the rest of the afternoon at work by browsing the internet to distract yourself from sex.
5:00pm Go to the sex toy store to get ready for the delivery I’m expecting and buy two new bottle poppers and a new butt plug. I accidentally chose a $30 bottle instead of the usual $15. I’ll have to save that for a special occasion.
18:00 The package arrived and it is heavy! It makes me smile. I plan to try my new treat later and check my Grindr account.
I used to date men before I got married, and have done so occasionally over the past 10 years. During the pandemic I started looking online again (too much free time) and haven’t met anyone yet, but I’d love to. My wife knows all about this and we plan to have other men in our bedroom at some point in the future… I just want to know when. He also knows that I do a lot of solo stuff with toys and poppers after bed.
21:00 Try my new plug. I’m approaching a year of independent butt play, and it’s been like discovering a whole new side of my sexuality. His wife has had an open invitation for years to make it a couple’s activity, but he doesn’t like it.
SECOND DAY
9:00 Kiss my wife before you walk out the door.
12 o’clock I think about my sex life with my wife at work. When we were younger, he was a little mean. My interests come and go, but never vanilla. We talk about it occasionally and find things we can do together, but I’m not sure he’ll ever want to participate in all the things I enjoy.
16:00 Happy to play with my wife tonight, even on her terms, my way. Our interests don’t always align, but we meet in the middle with fists and big games.
20.00 Wife’s new toy comes out of the box after sitting all day. This is a large dragon rooster with scales. He loves it and says the firmness is perfect. We later shit; I finished myself as he was exhausted from the game half a dozen times.
The third day
730am I check Grindr to pick a dick and get an invite. There is none. I have an errand this morning that will take me out of the house for a while.
11:00. No interest. Got a burger instead.
22:15 Talk to some guys on Grindr. There’s a hot daddy bear, but he’s over 20 miles away, and even if he’s hot AF, that’s too far to travel.
11:00 PM Have great sex with my wife and stop thinking about Grindr for a while.
FOUR DAYS
9:00 Check out Daddy Bear. I want pictures and location. Nothing yet.
10:00 A couple is contacting me. Or at least I think it’s a couple. Could be a guy who just wants to play with a couple. We will see.
12:00 I work near an Asian market and am looking for groceries today. I cook a lot of Chinese food. All the traditional Chinese restaurants are quite far away, so it was the easiest way to eat what I was interested in.
16:00 Get home early from work and treat yourself quickly by watching threesome porn. There is no extravagance.
21:00 After dinner, I spen
d some time searching for new records and reading the news until I’m ready for bed.
FIFTH DAY
7 a.m. Heading into a long day at work. It gives me time to recharge. Now I don’t even have cell service at work, and the Wi-Fi is blocked from almost everything except major news sites and Amazon. I’m fine with that. That’s good for me.
11:00 I think about checking Grindr on my lunch break, but I don’t. It’s location-based, and I don’t want my coworkers to find me and I don’t want them to find me.
12:30 I am thinking of how to remind my wife to tie me up. We have a harness but haven’t used it in at least ten years. At that time, he was Gun Ho, and I was confused. Now it’s the opposite.
19:00 Ask your wife if she feels like being silly, but she says no: It’s Monday, she’s tired.
22.00 I try to read a little, watch a little TV and a little porn. But I don’t try to get off. I’m tired, I have to get up early for work.
DAY SIX
I have to go to work at 8am, but check out Grindr during my break. Received several introductions. Grindr is so funny. We’re all for sex, but there’s still basic decency. I know it feels rude for guys to skip this part with me.
16:30 Oh, it’s been a long day and I’m tired. There is also something after work today. I realized that the reason I haven’t met a boyfriend is that I want to do it with someone I’m close to, or at least someone I’m closer to than a stranger on Grindr.
10:30pm I get home from work and I’m in the living room looking at hammock ads on reddit and I’m about to fall asleep.
SEVENTH DAY
10 a.m. My wife and I are both on vacation, so it’s a lazy morning. After a while, we started talking more seriously about inviting another person into our bedroom. He told me it definitely wasn’t, but he was unsure and said it wasn’t something he wasn’t focused on right now. I would also like to talk about the possibility of playing with other people without him, but it seems too much to bring up now. We hope to discuss more today.
12 o’clock To clear my head, I visit my local comic book store. Most of my favorite books are digital, but I’m glad I found a print one.
15:00 Returning home, we resume our conversation. My wife reminds me that before we got married, we visited the swingers club a few times. It was not something we actively pursued, and nothing interesting came of these visits. However, they have been around for a long time!
19:00 After talking all day, I seem to be the only one interested in this fantasy. My wife is thinking about all this to comfort me, and neither of us are comfortable with it.
22.00 Check Grindr one last time and go to bed. At this point, I don’t know what I’m looking for or where this desire will lead, but at least I can look for it now.
