Is it love or lust? Let’s talk about the difference between love and romance. Of course, they light a fire in you and you can’t breathe for the passion that keeps you up at night, but is that it? Passion? Are you in love? Or is it just a basic emotion instead?
Could it be lust? I think the first clue for me was when we were together, he said, “You don’t have to like it when the other person wants them.” Or later he says he’s looking for something better, someone more “married” in his eyes.
Lust-based relationships are best when you know what you’re getting into and open your eyes. No one will accuse you of having specific sexual needs or desires. No one will blame you for that.
After all, it’s all part of being human. But the most important thing is that you do not deceive yourself. Here are 21 signs that what you share is lust, not love.
- You dress to impress
You always see the best in them. Your eyebrows are waxed, you’re always dressed to the nines, and your Brazilian is clean. Whether you are a man or a woman, the main thing is that you pay special attention to your appearance every time you meet them.
In a relationship based only on superficial things, it doesn’t matter if you and your hair are ever less than perfect, because your relationship is so much more than anything else on the outside.
- Lack of meaningful conversation
When you’re in love, and I mean good, true love, you’re comfortable with your partner and everything they have. This means you are comfortable talking to them about most things. Your partner is your friend, as opposed to lust, and in this case, friendship and the meaningful conversations that come with it are missing. Your relationship lacks the conversations that shape your problems, your hopes, your dreams, and your life in general. - They look like sin
In a relationship based solely on lust, your partner seems to be the Adonis/Aphrodite version. And you are left to think that nature has given this man great beauty. When the reality is that they are far from it, you can’t stop thinking about their appearance and believe that they are perfect.
In love, you look past a person’s imperfections and see the beauty and goodness within. The passion is there, but it’s not just based on their looks, it’s based on the love you share.
- Your time is ticking
This is just my experience. Although I wouldn’t argue that it was unique to me or my previous circumstances. Feel free to contact him. So you decide to watch a movie together. But instead of choosing the movie that is playing in the cinema nearest to you, you prefer to watch old movies at his place.
Sounds cute and a little romantic, right? Of course, if you watch the whole movie. The reason for this is that in reality you can pay less attention to the movie and spend most of your time running around the house. This is exactly what happens when your relationship is based on lust and not love.
You spend almost all of your time having sex with each other. In fact, sex is a great way to express your feelings to each other, but it should not be the only one.
- You don’t connect on an emotional level
Your relationship is out of date. You don’t define or discuss your feelings, and neither does he. He doesn’t talk about how he makes you feel or vice versa. Honestly, unless it’s about sex, feelings don’t come into it.
When you connect with someone on an emotional level, you draw comfort from silence. You don’t mind lying on your sides and staring into each other’s eyes until 4am (oh, trust me, that’s the novelty of early love).
But there should be a neon sign screaming that silence is uncomfortable, that your relationship is based solely on sex, and that which one you liked the most was pure lust.